The following is an excerpt from one drug addict’s experience with ibogaine treatment:
My experience with Ibogaine was one I will not forget. At first I was afraid; I did not know what to expect, but what did I have to lose? Nothing. My life was in turmoil. I could not stop using drugs. For some reason I was uncomfortable with just being myself. I kept asking myself why do I want to keep hurting myself and why was I afraid to feel feelings. I always felt that there was some reason but did not know what it was. I’ve been in many rehabs, many detoxes, many N.A. and A.A. meetings. I believed that this was my last hope.
I took the therapeutic dose hoping to get to the root of my problems; for some solution to what or why I was doing this to myself. I was awake through it all. I began seeing pictures flash before me. Thinking back to it now it was overwhelming. I could not believe it, but I actually saw myself being born. I recall it being dark when I realized I was inside the birth canal. In just moments I was born and I recall being asked, “Who was the baby?” I answered in an overwhelming voice, “It’s ME! She’s so beautiful!” I’ll never forget those words: and then it all began.
Through my childhood I remembered a lot of fighting, being afraid; a scared and frightened child. I was hurt – violated when I was about four or five years old. It makes a lot of sense now why I have always felt this fear inside of me even to get close to my significant other. Coming out of it there was anger because of what happened to me, and yet there was such a sigh of relief, a peace of mind. There was also a spiritual side within that was beautiful.
I feel that there’s more energy inside of me now. I don’t feel depressed. I’m volunteering in social and community events. Before taking the therapeutic dose I was too tired and depressed. I didn’t want to get involved. My husband saw a change. We are entering therapy. I’m looking forward to sharing my experience with my psychologist so that she can help me feel the feelings; to talk about the fears. More important, to know the little child inside of me and to love and embrace her, and then in turn Love Myself!
With continuing therapy I know that this can be possible if I want it. I thank you so much for helping me make sense of my life and putting the missing pieces of the puzzle back together. Thank you, Ibogaine, for entering my life. It has helped me tremendously.